Free Food Tastes Best

Dear Mr. Donut-Making-Man,

Thank you so much for bringing doughnuts to my workplace today. I enjoyed one for both breakfast and lunch, and they were delicious.

However, I do have one concern. My second doughnut, a Long John, seemed a little down. He may have been depressed, or merely sad. He appeared to be leading an unfulfilled life. He was looking for something, searching; somewhere deep inside of him there was a hole. How do I know this? Because when I bit into him, there was a hole. Perhaps it was meant for custard or cream, dare I suggest...even jelly, but it was a palpable emptiness, and I could tell my doughnut was not living its best doughnut life. Really. It was an enormous bubble.

In the future, please consider the potential your fried balls of dough may hold. They may be just little puffs of flour and fat to you, but it's possible they could be so much more.

Sincerely,

Ms. Doughnut-Eating-Girl