Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Charmed, I'm Sure

Hello. I don't believe we've met. My name is Beth.

I work six days a week.
Four nights a week I have "extra-curricular activities". Like school, for example. Class is four and a half hours long. After a full day of work.
Many of my "extra" activities require work outside of the activity itself, like homework or practicing my voice lessons or knitting extra swatches for my students "just in case".
It takes me five minutes to walk from my car to my apartment at night because I'm the last one to get home and I have to park far away.
I don't have a washer or dryer so I go to the laundromat to do laundry. Sunday is the only day the laundromat has hours during which I am free.
I live alone, so there's no one but me to take out the garbage or clean the bathroom. (However, there's nobody to care if it doesn't get done, either.)

These are all things I have chosen. But really, I'm most happy when I'm by myself at home. It's when I'm most myself. My hobbies are good "by myself" hobbies like knitting or cooking (or blogging).
You may have done a little math and realized that I don't have a lot of time to dedicate to being by myself, or any of these hobbies.

So don't invite me to do something and qualify it with the phrase "...if you don't have anything better to do." Because, to me, sitting at home alone on my couch is something better to do.

And you'll have to forgive me that I don't have a lot of knitting to talk about. It's true, when you start trying to earn money with your hobbies you don't have time to do them anymore. Trust me, it breaks my heart more than yours.


Colleen said...

I know it's a busy time for you, but hopefully it will all pay off in the end. Chin up, little camper! Best of luck with everything and I'm relieved to know you enjoy time to yourself at home because I was feeling bad that we haven't seen you in a while. I still feel bad, but not as bad. :) We're painting the kitchen this weekend, so hopefully you'll be up for a dinner party soon.


jenifleur said...

I'm with you. Home doing what I want to do (even if it's nothing) is always better.

Teri said...

That phrase is something I heard quite a bit as a single woman. Actually, even though I'm married, I still hear it frequently. Because I don't have children, it's expected that I have nothing better to do than cater to anyone else's whims and thinly veiled demands.

Sorry to rant in your comments, Beth. It just struck a chord. All I can say is that when people are idiotic enough to say things like that to you, give them hell from me, k?

Camille said...

To play Devil's advocate and to maybe puff up your ego, it could be that the event host/ess thinks that as a single woman you have scads of more interesting, exciting and/or fulfilling things to do than to grace them with your presence.

Christina said...

I had to laugh when you were said staying at home is something better to do. I have to agree. If I actually have a night were I don't have to go to work, go to a class, or take care of some kind of family obligation all I want to do is stay home curled up on the sofa with some kind of a project or book.

I have friends that just don't get this, and more than one argument has arisen from this.

fillyjonk said...


I also get the "but you're not married..." statement (implying: surely you have all this free time, and surely it's selfish of you not to give it away).

I have to admit that for too long I've bought into the idea that "me time" is NOT "something better to do." I'm starting to hit a wall, and I think maybe I'm going to have to start acknowledging that "me time" IS something better to do, and something I HAVE to do if I'm going to keep going.

As someone else said, sorry to rant in your blog, but what you said is SO true.

I'm a college prof, and I fantasize about being able to go part-time (which wouldn't be part-time, really) just so I can have a few more hours a week to BE.